Heart Medicine
“If you don’t become the ocean, you’ll always be seasick.” -Leonard Cohen
I had days last week where the grief was almost unbearable…meaning, it demanded that I tend to it. No distraction would work, no way to numb it or run from it.
From a very young age I created rituals to regulate my nervous system. I didn’t know that they were rituals and I didn’t consciously know that it would regulate my nervous system…it was intuitive. I DANCED. My most prevalent childhood memories are of my record player, my records and just playing albums and dancing for hours.
As an adult I have continued to create rituals that are spiritual and reflective in nature. They provide a sense of hope grounding and insight. I have learned from TARYN TOOMEY and the ancient wisdom of Qi Gong a practice of heart irrigation. Medicine for a broken heart.
Here is my adaptation should you need some inspiration for your own:
First, make time and space. Create the environment. Set aside an hour or two. Go to a room where you won’t be interrupted. Light incense, burn a candle, clear the space with some sort of sacred smoke. Make a playlist of sounds that will change in tempo and move you emotionally as well as physically. Play the music and move the body. Move it in a way that FEELS true to the moment you’re in. FEEL your way through the sound. Anything goes! Just be curious and courageous. See what you notice and just move with it. Let it be. No mirrors. No judgement. Just move and try not to think. Dance really organic, make shapes, giggle, shout, make sound if you need, make it weird, be the most expressive. Delight in all the body can do. Celebrate it by allowing it to be new for you.Move in ways you’ve never explored before.
As I began to move I thought about how difficult it has been for me to find words to speak a prayer that felt could adequately express all that I was holding and hoping for…so I made the dance the prayer.Movement is the only way I could express my heart. I just moved and made shapes that FELT good. No looking or judging only feeling and moving the body in a way that expressed what ever came up in the moment. It felt nourishing to my soul. I could feel my heart beating and my breath moving. Sometimes I would just bounce, then shake, then sway, moving my rib cage felt good so I just stayed with that until lifting my arms felt right, remembering that the arms are an extension of the HEART I began to feel the “irrigation” was in process because the tears were flowing and then when they stopped the JOY came. Joy and full heart beats of pure love with BIG, DEEP waves of breath and then….beat, beat, beat, beat….the moment….clarity….insight….ahhhhh….stillness…..I sat in the stillness, placed hands on heart and bow my head. “what do you want me to know?”
My heart answered.
I’m going to keep my answers to myself because it feels too sacred and personal to share.
What I will say, is this. All I ever need in this life is that tool. A way to listen to my heart.
“I know in my heart what is TRUE.”
Here is a quote from Ghandi, “We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we can change ourselves, the tendencies in the world also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him.”
Here is the playlist I used, should you want to give it a try.
I hope that you are tending to your own heart. I hope that if you are finding it difficult to express in words that maybe this finds you and inspires you to dance and seek the wisdom of your own heart.
From my HEART to yours, I wish you Peace and Love.
L E S L I E