Officially WINTERING
I am officially WINTERING. What’s that, you ask? Well….it’s an intentional SLOWING….It involves slow mornings where I wake up before the sun and open my arms out wide as I take the dogs out to pee first thing in the morning. I begin the day with expansion in my body, a REACHING UPWARD as if to say, GOD, I am here, can you hold me today?” My prayers are often SOMATIC and non verbal. If I need to surrender something I get into child’s pose and put my palms up…my body is in the position that says, I can’t…you can…let me STOP to receive. In the SLOWING there is so much that bubbles up to the surface. Maybe it’s all the “TODO’s”….I play with restraint and awareness, “oh, there’s the thoughts….stay still….watch as they go by….or oopps, here I go into doing…can I pause and sit still to see if there is another approach.
Wintering involves long walks in crunchy leaves, dense fog and gray cloudy days that beg of you to go back to bed….but you don’t…you drive for hours to get to a hike where no-one is…because it’s too cold and everything is dead…I LOVE IT. Empty hiking trails, cold rocks to lay on…you may not even go far on the hike because the goal is to play and meander…LOLLYGAG if you will. I allow for my senses to be alive and my playful curiosity to take the lead. I bring my polaroid and PLAY with ways to take double exposed turkey tails and my face…my face in a tree stump…and contemplate my relationship with nature, her cycles, my cycles…what is dying in me? How graceful am I in the face of something dying? What good comes from cycles of death and rebirth? How is my body with the cold? What does my body feel like when I am cold and constricted? Can I find anyway to open in the constrictions? Am I in the flow of my life or is there resistance….?
I love the questions. I love being slower. I love nature and cycles. It reminded me I am not a machine. I am not meant to go fast. I am meant to take my time. To process takes time. To create, takes time. I feel very passionate about this message in the DIGITAL AGE.
I am in the cycle of my own creativity where I am gathering INFORMATION. So, I HAVE to take in through the senses and explore my contemplative practices…to see what’s next? To get INSIGHT I must slow down and take IN. It’s a receptive time. It’s a self care time.
Here are some the themes so far:
Contemplating:
CYCLES…in nature, in my body, in my relationships, in my art, in my practices, in food I eat, my moods….
How when I slow down so much gets resolved without me doing anything at all….allowing the FLOW to FLOW
Navigating and regulating of my NERVOUS SYSTEM and what information my body gives me and how to come back to calm.
Holidays and Traditions and how I feel about them today. I’m excited to out up a small tree with few decorations…it’s been 10 years since I have decorated for xmas and resigned to only Jewish traditions…so this feels exciting and fully doable….
Old Beliefs that keep me stuck and small. Why are they there? Are they helpful still? Can I be with them and feel them fully and realize they are a part of me always but not in charge.
Celebrating my WINS…allowing myself time to process and integrate good things happening to me before moving on to the next thing. BE. HERE. NOW>
ALLOWING myself to be supported and held and practice asking for what I need. ALSO>>>working with being ok when I am rejected or get a no or an answer or being with the understanding that I may get help, but not the exact way I want it…it may not be perfect….woof, this is a difficult one…
VULNERABILITY…oh, I love/hate it, but leaning in HARD! I am committed to it, it’s a VALUE of mine!
What will my next work be? I am drawn to the polaroids again and I am taking an, “INTUITIVE HANDBUILDING CLASS”…also drawn to rocks and sticks…I don’t know, but I am loving the journey to finding out.
WHAT ARE YOU CONTEMPLATING?
How is your nervous system?
What is your relationship to SLOWING?
How are your Holidays and Traditions going? Do you still enjoy them?
I am offering some coaching on this process in February.If you’re interested in knowing more about it, lets chat. Leave me a note in the comments!
MUCH LOVE AND SLOWING AND DEEP REGULATORY BREATH.
L E S L I E